Along the ways of growing up we hear more and more about the management of one thing or another, though it mostly concentrates on business conduct and as of late, on Stress. However, how about the rest of it regarding those ingredients that Life is made of? Like one’s physicality, emotions, creativity, sexuality, relationships, dreams, desires, body electricity, bio-chemistry and a few other components from the molecular status to appetite? The above are not listed in any particular scientific order rather then common sense and, possibly, popular logic. Nevertheless, they are part of each one of us and, willy-nilly, unless we manage them according to our personality and sensitivity, personal contentment will elude us to the extent of unhappiness. To avoid this as a possible lead to depression, we try consciously or subconsciously to manage all these symptoms the best we can. But, is it the best way without being a bit more educated? For ignorance – which we believe is the roots of all evil - is not the proprietorship of only the analphabets; it is a plague affecting everybody across board excluding, possibly, the infants through their early age of innocence. From the peasants in the field to presidents of companies and even countries, not excluding the Church and the Military, it affects everybody in one degree or another, including this writer. So, let’s look into it without the fear that we could unleash inner secrets of intimacy, a factor we will deal with later on.
Ignorance, though inherited at birth, diminishes by the degree of growing curiosity and the capacity to understand and store knowledge. All of this, despite circumstances and socio-political discord that those who are really driven and knowledge hungry, try to avoid before they try to become serious obstacles, like deadly conflicts. Of course, knowledge is only a point of reference leading to creativity, the courage to experience, all of which results in wisdom and the satisfaction of inner-self. And yet, people do need leaderships and someone they could trust and confess to outside their intimacy. A parental figure, a guru- teacher, a psychoanalyst or a psychiatrist may do, but nothing is more potent than the power of childhood friendship on one side hand and even more so, talking to the barber, the hairdresser or a taxi-driver! The problem is, however, that their “wisdom” besides listening, is a popular one drowns out of experience rather than an educated understanding which brain sparkles affect which emotions, muscles or behavioral pattern phenomena, to the expense knowing who they’re talking to with any conventional logic. Were they to be more alert and knowledgeable, they could identify and separate whom they confess to and, perhaps, why the need to do so. Hence, an ignorance which, ultimately, creates the fear of betrayal that usually leads to discord and the wrong choices of action and which can be avoided were one to manage better their Life’s components. Which brings into focus those conventional lies inflicted upon us by the so called civilization that many are misconstruing due to their misconception of classical pure ethical conduct being mixed with someone’s so called morality that is being imposed on certain groups at the cost of others without understanding the damage they do society for their personal gains.
The true borders, however, luckily do not depend on these individuals or people, once it is recognize that not even national boarders are not the true ones when they cannot separate the nature’s divide between the species, the fauna, males and females, adults and children, their ethnicity, culture and the natural environment they come from. Let alone traditions, personalities, desires, body hygiene including sexuality and so on. I leave out beauty design, for it is mostly in the eyes of the beholder, like many other personal views whether influenced by the outside or inner ways one can manage, thus keeping these sensibilities more like a personal secret to be explored with only very few in a life time. Properly understood, these individual needs do transcend the generations, which explains relationships – emotional or otherwise – between one and even two generations. And common sense has nothing to do with it once these factors are in motion. For, they are conducted by various degrees of inner management to the extent of keeping certain things departmentalized for the sake of well-being and momentary or long-term contentment. Given that in today’s advanced behavioral sciences recognizing the exclusive singularity of the DNA signature, it is only logic to allow such singularity develop in managed conditions of one factor or another in their own boxes, so-to-speak, allowing them to mix under control. Thus, separate deep in-love emotions from the rational ones like having sex for the sake of natural satisfaction. Sure, if one is in-love having sex, it could be a delirious experience, but Nature is not enslaved by such mixtures and is stubborn in its demands of satisfaction physically or otherwise.
Hence, the notion that the freer we want to be, the more self-disciplined we must be in order to manage ourselves and what we do accordingly. Not long ago I overheard at the beach a conversation between a seasoned mature male in his 50s and his beautiful young female companion of 20s, she trying to explain: “… Please don’t get me wrong, I do like you very much and cherish your company and friendship which I hope to last for ever, but my emotional box is full just now and I hope you understand that… and yet, I’m also attracted to you in more than one way and would like to satisfy those needs without getting emotionally involved. If you can handle this, we can continue enjoying each other, even more. If not, we’ll meet once in awhile to update ourselves and that’s the way it is. Can you accept this for now?”
He mumbled something I couldn’t distinguish and the fact that she clenched herself by his arm and leaned her head on it, may have been a reaction that he accepted the terms and so on. And, of course, it could be vice-versa, as well. More recent, as part of my own experiment in learning about relationships and the fact that humanity prevails, I asked several extraordinary beauties wherever I traveled whom I met at various events whether they agreed that the Spirit was more important than the body. Their answers, though, with different inflections, were in the positive, acknowledging a degree of spontaneous wisdom expecting triumphantly a reaction from me which manifested itself with the following immediate answer: “…. Great! I’m really glad you react like this! Then, out of respect, I will leave you with your Spirit and you give me your body!” One could imagine the degree of their reactions despite being from different countries or walks of life. Need I elaborate more on the human nature?
Willy-nilly, most of us try to manage our needs as they manifest themselves, but few of us try to really understand their source and cause so that we can cater to them accordingly so that we experience contentment out of unselfish conduct much the way we feel contributing to a charitable situation that affect us spontaneously, being a musician in the subway, an elderly homeless, adopting a child or helping with those programs that recruit the street children or gang members to a more productive life, or a dear friend in need. It is a genuine feeling of full contentment that, ultimately, leads to happiness as we help others become content and happy themselves, whether helping by participating on their and even our inner needs, or bringing them a meaningful birthday or anniversary gift. For wherever and whenever we can demonstrate and record that humanity prevails especially when we contribute to it, we feel alive in more than one way. Given that this writer survived and escaped the atrocities of WW-II and other non-related racists and bullies, because I made them laugh one way or another. Thus, understanding humans is, most of the times, more difficult than understanding other species, given our unique natural complexity interwoven with outside influences that in most case mess up our naturally born innocence. If we are lucky, we encounter factors that guide such innocence into the world of knowledge which, in itself, encourages us to test and experience ourselves and the world around us by bringing the kind of exhilaration that a high-wire acrobat experiences, especially when without a net.
Humanity always prevails when bypassing the human physical and mental anomalies, although certain inherited genes do affect us from obesity to criminal acts. But, as a modern society, if we do not laugh at ourselves and make love from the moment we open our eyes, how could anyone claim happiness?
Innuendos – Vol I
Editing: Ileana Matac Arco
©by Ray Arco 7/13/2010