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Watever I am ...

Frankly? Whatever I AM, you made me!
Whatever YOU ARE, they made you!
Whoever are THEY? God knows, for they don’t speak the same language!

Hence, the question if they do belong to the same species and, if so, why their lack of humanity and compassion while viciousness and greed dominate their credo and behavior? Aren’t they aware that, by trying to transform Humanity’s good nature, they themselves, like all of us, are going to be transformed when the bacteria tries to devour us while living and, definitely, after death? It is assumed that all babies are born innocent and that is the way that things should be. However, are they? The reality on the ground seems to differ after birth. I know this from experience, of course, for I remember that a month before birth, trying to accommodate myself, I started to hear muffled noises coming somehow from outside. I even sensed that I can feel something of some sort, weird vibrations infiltrating my comfortable world, indeed up to that moment! As time progressed, I wondered if the other world outside my mother’s womb, if there was any and was about to face willy-nilly, could be as comfortable and protective? And, almost suddenly, after certain trials and tribulations, I was pushed and extracted out of my comfort into that other world, outside her womb. Hmm! Somehow, startled and somewhat confused, I began to cry trying to outdo the various noises I heard from the voices of my parents, midwife or nurse and others in attendance around me, witnessing, I assume, the miracle of life. They even begged me to stop crying. On which grounds? Was it because they were afraid that they were the cause or that I had a nervous breakdown they could not control? Was I a miracle baby just because I travelled safely between the Cosmos and the Earth? Or, because they felt a vertigo not understanding, accepting and even respecting the possibility of the parallel worlds between theirs and mine? Could it be they don’t remember that, at one time, they were in my situation as well? Imagine that!

True, some things do not have simple explanations given that each entity experiencing them has its own frame of mind. In addition, without specific points of reference, they cannot compute and react in accordance with their controlled personal expectations based on their limited sensitivities subjugated by their unique DNA, culture and traditions, let alone scarce life experiences. Hence, like it or not, though at a very early age, I had to act the way the momentum dictated despite, or in spite, of outside influences spooning out because of their individuality, I

suppose, because of what else? Sure, everyone declared their overwhelming love without really knowing my personality yet to mature. How did they know I’m a good or have a streak of criminality in me? It’s like in America, especially, people brush by each other saluting with a How do you do? without stopping to find out the response, which is quite frustrating, let’s face it! It is like trying to be polite they quickly say Excuse me! or Pardon me without stopping to advise me when I ask How? Yes, how do they want to be excused or be pardoned? Are they that shallow or on automatic? How come they grew to be like that? And this is what they want me to become by adopting their nonchalant single minded ways? I try to understand why some people are over preoccupied to pay attention to niceties and congeniality, or those lacking a touch of genuine politeness. I even try to conclude why many prefer to be left alone rather than go through that society mambo-jumbo some label it as civilized behavior, yet without essence. So where was I? Of course I am still very young to pretend I know everything regarding especially the lottery of human behavioral phenomenon, because everything is Science. And even that, has variables and subject to interpretation by the rightly motivated thinkers whose gravitation to pure logic and absolute truth drives many ignoramus to accuse them of being fake and wrong in their assumptions that Science is only a joke employed by human frailties. In other words, a thief thinks everyone is a thief; an honest person thinks everyone else is honest; and so on…

What of us, the new baby generation, trying from the start to separate our needs from the rest of the world even when they claim they want to cater to our outer and inner needs? Is their perspective of well-being the same as our natural fireball temperament? Frankly, except for a few inherited handicaps until we learn how to walk, learn table and toilet manners, drive and adopt a cultured vocabulary if only in one language, what else is there that can afford us the future we came for naked on Earth? Drugs? Guns? The military? Incongruous politics and organized religion? Passion for love and inborn talents of any kind? Or, just plain sexuality as part of the life cycle which combines pain, humor and savory - all in one transaction? For, let us face it, there is little else to substitute for genuine pleasure of any kind, especially when we mature and experience enough to be more than a kilobyte. Imagine that!

Innuendos – Vol I
Editing: Ileana Matac Arco
Hollywood, California

©by Ray Arco    4/28/2013


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