|Who am I?|
Actually, this is a fair question after all these years of trials and tribulations; of coincidences and circumstances; of highs and lows; of one thing after another; of worries about Humanity and its reverberations despite all rationale that our individual needs are just about the same - generally speaking.
The problems is that one cannot and shouldn’t generalize, for while we belong to the same species, each one of us has imbedded an unique DNA leading to an unique Universe we have to live and survive in together with the other Earth and, maybe, outer extraterrestrial species. Hence, as educated as we may be, we cannot take things for granted for we, humans, are quite moody and stubborn with the ways and means that makes us most comfortable in the process, trying to discard as much as we can those who may disturb our wellbeing come what may. The trouble is that without those illuminates and inventors of things we may have remained apes, for without an educated approach to imagination, there is little that Nature has installed for us as a premium. We have to earn it and cater to Nature as one of our own family. Imagine that! No wonder we must think more vertically than horizontally which should contribute clarifying the question: actually, who are we, or, who am I, for that matter?
Are we just a body with a beating heart and brains that need be kept in control? Who are we otherwise were it not for the elaborate process of thinking, way beyond, what other species are blessed with? Let alone those extraordinary talents that push us to create and explore realms beyond the norm, including unique performances that only few of us have been blessed with?
Truly… who am I vis-ŕ-vis the others? When can we distinguish that separation line from the obvious physical existence to the one that only our brains can concoct? Willy-nilly, so that we can comply and be rewarded for? And who is to judge such gifts at their true global value, rather than just local? Our peers may be one of the logical answers and yet, we are entrusted to all kind of surrogate beliefs by the nurturing society emanating from ancient traditions adapted to current trends although may not fit and do more damage than what was intended… Just being aware of the powers at be that we let outgrow despite any rational human logic, let alone Humanity in itself. So, who the heck am I? After all the schooling and life’s experiences, after coming to a better understanding what not to do given the realities on the ground, the question still remains that, if I can make more money over the table than the Mafia does, why should my peers try to steel from me? Why, when qualifying for a job, those already behind their desks are afraid to hire newcomers who may be brighter and better educated, overall, than they are? Are all these because of ignorance and the fear they may lose their jobs, being bypassed in the hierarchy of things, or, simply out of greed and envy? It couldn’t be, really, for it’s against any logic. And yet, it’s out there despite any other claims that a civilized society may have. Civilized? According to whom?
I didn’t mean to digress, but somehow, these factors affect my, and even your well-being not letting us have too many choices but to serve the “masters” who gained their position mostly because of unique circumstances rather than their hard labor. Of course there are those whose leadership and humanity led them to be elected where they were, are and might be, but these are mostly the exceptions rather than the trend within the belief that we all are equal! We, the People…! And, actually, we are not! Hence, the question as to who am I? Like many, I also had and still have my wish list of things and situations I could see myself useful to both, the Art and the Society, for the period we are let by the Karma to manifest ourselves. Now, that would be something! Or would it? For we all dream of doing things that, when given the opportunity, we discover we’re not fit to do the job, so-to-speak. Society dictates that if one stays in a job for a lifetime, it shows integrity and dedication. How about in more than one job where individuals helped solve problems beyond the call of duty? And what of those who, recognizing personal or a country’s need, wherever it may be, try to offer possible solution that those in power could implement but who don’t because of a mixture of personal selfish interests and other circumstances that may have nothing to do with the actual issue at hand? And millions of people are being affected by it! So, who am I to think or even judge? And why judge at all when this elated status may bring disappointments more than the satisfaction of those positive accomplishments that serving Humanity brings? Aha! Maybe now, I should be content to have clarified who I am, or is it encompassing enough? Between us, now, I’m very curious: who, the heck, am I, really?
From the Volume: Essays
Editing: Ileana Matac Arco
©by Ray Arco 5/24/2012